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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?